FAIL.com

Seriously. I mean really. This is getting ridiculous. I had McDonald's today. (and Taco bell) And honestly I don't feel guilty about it. But I feel nauseous. I think my body had really started to detox and I just all kinds of jacked everything up with that food. I woke up late and I only brought veggies and by the time lunch came around I didn't feel like looking for something healthy. I wanted something quick and easy. Then once I'd done it, I'm compelled to make a day of it so I didn't waste the "one chance" I get to cheat. And the thing is, it's not like I don't have willpower. It's just that I convince myself in the moment of the decision that my large long term goal isn't important. That I have the rest of my life to make the changes. But the thing is, the changes I make now change the course of my life. Like there is no excuse to keep making decisions based on what I want right there in the moment, especially if it keeps me from getting to where I want to be. Where I need to be. This has got to stop. Seriously. I'm so ridiculously tired of this roller coaster ride. How many years does it take to resolve one basic problem? It's really gotta stop. Ain't nobody got time this. Seriously.