Cravings, oh my!

Now I'm starting to feel like I'm just going in circles. Later that night, after Papa John's, I went to Applebee's for the late night appetizers. It wasn't impulsive, I just thought that I'd make a whole "cheat" day of it. That night I slept so heavy. It was awful honestly. I woke up with a headache from dehydration. Not fun honestly. But to make it worse when I got to work I had cravings for everything unhealthy imaginable. The gourmet burger place across the street was calling my name! And it didn't make things any better that a coworker went and came back with delicious looking and smelling food. I thought about every possible way to rationalize eating a greasy burger with fries. Then I started thinking that I could get McDonalds on the way home and I was completely content with doing so. But then I thought about the fact that I had brought my lunch and how I would have to take it back home as a reminder that I wasn't strong enough to get back on the wagon. So I put all those thoughts out and sucked it up and ate my broccoli and meatballs. It really brought to my attention how hard it is for me to do the "moderation" thing. I did buy some cereal from the natural foods section of Kroger. While it isn't the healthiest thing, it is much better than that burger and truffle fries, and shake I was previously envisioning. I would like to do the moderation thing but I think it's more evident than ever that I should probably stay away from all junk for a while. It is hard to continue in a transformation when you are fighting with yourself the whole time. But I will get healthy, whatever it takes. And if staying away from certain things for 3 months or even 6 months is what it takes then I will do it. I've done it before, just have to focus. I got this.